October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

“The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during war.”

This statistic came from a recent Huffington Post article.  It went on to state that “3 women are murdered every day by a current or former male partner in the U.S.”  And “38,028,000 is the number of women who have experienced physical intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  We need to start acknowledging the problem, if we are going to be able to prevent it!

Starting when our children are young, they need to learn the difference between healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships.  Talk to your children about the warning signs of dating abuse.

Here is a list from “Breaking the Cycle” (http://www.breakthecycle.org/warning-signs)

  • Checking cell phones, emails or social networks without permission
  • Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  • Constant belittling or put-downs
  • Explosive temper
  • Isolation from family and friends
  • Making false accusations
  • Erratic mood swings
  • Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way
  • Possessiveness
  • Telling someone what to do
  • Repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex

If you or someone you know is in danger, get help.  Here is some helpful information from the Domestic Violence Awareness Project –  http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/safety-alert

  • Call 911.
  • Contact your local hotline.
  • Contact a national hotline:
    • Call the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
    • Call, text or chat Love Is Respect—the U.S. National Teen Dating Violence Helpline: 1-866-331-9474 or TTY 1-866-331-8453, text “loveis” to 77054 or live chat at http://www.loveisrespect.org.
    • Call the U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), which automatically connects you to a local U.S. rape crisis program based on the area code of your phone number. Secure, online private chat is available at https://ohl.rainn.org/online/.

Here are some additional safety tips to remember:

*Corded phones are more private and less able to be intercepted than cordless phones or analog cell phones.

*You may not be able to reach 911 using an Internet phone or Internet-based phone service, so you may need to be prepared to use another phone to call 911.

*Contact your local domestic violence program, shelter, or rape crisis center to learn about free cell phone donation programs.

Tips for Using Technology

If you think your activities are being monitored, they probably are.

Abusive people are often controlling and want to know your every move. You don’t need to be a computer programmer or have special skills to monitor someone’s computer and Internet activities. Anyone can do it and there are many ways to monitor with programs like Spyware, keystroke loggers, and hacking tools.

It is not possible to delete or clear all the “footprints” of your computer or online activities.

If you are being monitored, it may be dangerous to change your computer behaviors such as suddenly deleting your entire Internet history if that is not your regular habit.

If you think you may be monitored on your home computer, be careful how you use your computer since an abuser might become suspicious.

You may want to keep using the monitored computer for innocuous activities, like looking up the weather. Use a safer computer to research an escape plan, to look for new jobs, apartments or bus tickets, or to ask for help.

Email and Instant/Text Messaging (IM) are not safe or confidential ways to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life.

If possible, please call a hotline instead. If you use email or IM, please use a safer computer and an account your abuser does not know about.

Computers can store a lot of private information.

This includes what you look at via the Internet, the emails and instant messages you send, Internet-based phone and IP-TTY calls you make, Web-based purchases and banking, and many other activities.

It might be safer to use a computer in a public library, at a community technology center (CTC), at a trusted friend’s house, or at an Internet Cafe. Modern technology and social networks change frequently. Educate yourself by reading about the NRCDV’s Tech Safety Resources. This special collection of selected articles, fact sheets, papers, reports and other materials are designed to assist advocates and survivors interested in understanding the safe use of technology.