{"id":114,"date":"2015-08-14T19:25:43","date_gmt":"2015-08-14T19:25:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/?p=114"},"modified":"2015-08-15T14:35:14","modified_gmt":"2015-08-15T14:35:14","slug":"are-others-noticing-red-flags-in-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/2015\/08\/14\/are-others-noticing-red-flags-in-your-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Are Others Noticing Red Flags in Your Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" style=\"float: none; margin-left: auto; display: block; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"http:\/\/images.huffingtonpost.com\/2015-03-05-1425588258-4436213-redflag.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"202\" height=\"202\" \/><\/p>\n<h4>Are others concerned about your relationship with someone?\u00a0 Can they see something that you cannot?\u00a0 Do you know who you are\u00a0really\u00a0dating?\u00a0 Have you checked them out?\u00a0 Do they have a past history of domestic violence or criminal behavior?\u00a0 Are they blaming any past history on others?\u00a0 Are you being alienated from family and friends?<\/h4>\n<p><em>On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men. (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)<\/em><\/p>\n<h4>Domestic Abuse<\/h4>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Red Flags to Consider When Beginning a New Relationship<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">(From: Caring Unlimited website &#8211; <a title=\"http:\/\/www.caring-unlimited.org\/what-is-domestic-violence\/for-victims-and-survivors\/is-my-relationship-abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/www.caring-unlimited.org\/what-is-domestic-violence\/for-victims-and-survivors\/is-my-relationship-abusive\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">http:\/\/www.caring-unlimited.org\/what-is-domestic-violence\/for-victims-and-survivors\/is-my-relationship-abusive<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">The following is a list of red flags for you to notice and pay attention to when dating someone or beginning a new relationship. Some of them are indicators that the relationship may become abusive. Others are positive indicators that you are becoming involved with an abuser. The more \u201cyes\u201d answers, the more likely it is that you are dating an abuser.<\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Quick Involvement<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">6 months or less before living together\/engaged <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Claims of love at first sight <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Says you are the only one who can make him\/her feel this way <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Pressures you for commitment<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Unrealistic Expectations<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Compliments you in a way that makes you seem superhuman <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Very dependent on you for all needs <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Expects you to be perfect <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Says things like, I am all you need. You are all I need<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Controlling Behavior<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Advises you how to dress without your asking for advice <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Pretends to be concerned for your safety or your productive use of time <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Acts like you do not have the ability to make good decisions <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Becomes extremely worried or angry when you are late <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Constantly questions who you spend your time with, what you did\/wore\/said &amp; where you went <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Insists that you check in constantly <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Monitors your phone\/email <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Makes you ask permission to do certain things<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Jealousy<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Wants to be with you constantly <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Accuses you of cheating all the time <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Follows you around or frequently calls during the day <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Odd behaviors like checking your car mileage or asking friends to check in on you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Isolation<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Tries to cut off all your resources <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Puts down everyone you know: says friends are stupid, promiscuous, or accuses you of cheating with them; says family is too controlling, they don&#8217;t really love you, or you are too dependent on them <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Refuses to let you use car or talk on the phone <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Makes it difficult for you to go to school or work<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Blames Others for Problems<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">If there are problems at school or work, it is always someone else&#8217;s fault <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">You&#8217;re at fault for everything that goes wrong in the relationship<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Blames Others for Feelings<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Makes you responsible for how they feel:<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">You made me mad. <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">You&#8217;re hurting me by not doing what I ask. <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">I can&#8217;t help being angry. <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">You make me happy. <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">You control how I feel.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Hypersensitivity<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Easily insulted <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Sees everything as a personal attack <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Has a tantrum about the injustice of things that happen to him <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Totally goes off about small irritations <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Looks for fights <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Blows things out of proportion<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Disrespectful or Cruel to Others<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Punishes animals\/children cruelly <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Insensitive to pain and suffering <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">High expectations of children beyond their abilities <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Teases children or younger sibling(s) until they cry <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Doesn&#8217;t treat other people with respect<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Expects Control During Sex<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Little concern over whether you want sex or not, &amp; uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Makes sexual or degrading jokes about you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Rigid Sex Roles<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Believes women are inferior to men <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Unable to be a whole person without a relationship<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Dr. Jekyll &amp; Mr. Hyde<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Sudden mood changes&#8211;like the person has two different personalities <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">One minute nice\/next minute exploding <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">One minute happy\/next minute sad<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Past Battering<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">You may hear the person was abusive to someone else they were in a relationship with, they may deny it saying it is a lie or their ex is crazy\/it wasn&#8217;t that bad<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Breaking or Striking Objects<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Used as punishment <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Breaks cherished possessions <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">May beat on tables with fist <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Throws objects at\/around\/or near you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Any Force during an Argument<\/span><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Physically restrains you from leaving the room <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Pushes or shoves you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"http:\/\/www.caring-unlimited.org\/what-is-domestic-violence\/for-victims-and-survivors\/is-my-relationship-abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/www.caring-unlimited.org\/what-is-domestic-violence\/for-victims-and-survivors\/is-my-relationship-abusive\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">http:\/\/www.caring-unlimited.org\/what-is-domestic-violence\/for-victims-and-survivors\/is-my-relationship-abusive<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are others concerned about your relationship with someone?\u00a0 Can they see something that you cannot?\u00a0 Do you know who you are\u00a0really\u00a0dating?\u00a0 Have you checked them out?\u00a0 Do they have a past history of domestic violence or criminal behavior?\u00a0 Are they blaming any past history on others?\u00a0 Are you being alienated from family and friends? On [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":119,"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114\/revisions\/119"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mndare.org\/WordPress\/parents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}