MN D.A.R.E. Talk – Lesson #6

MN D.A.R.E. Summer Lesson #6 – DARE Respect

Dear Minnesota D.A.R.E. Students,

Welcome to Summer D.A.R.E. Lesson #6!  Grab your parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult and let’s do another health & safety lesson!

Parent/Guardian, this lesson is about respecting others and to stop bullying and violence.  We have included several questions to start your family discussion.  REMEMBER—you are the most important role model in a child’s life.  Let’s get the discussion going!

Lesson 6 – “D.A.R.E. Respect”

What is Respect??

• To hold in esteem (worth, value)
• A sense of worth or excellence of a person
• A way of treating or thinking about someone
• You can show respect by being polite and kind
• Upholding basic rights

How can we show respect?

Who deserves respect?

How do we receive respect? Demanded? Earned?

How does respect make you feel?

How do you think being disrespectful makes others feel?

How do you think showing respect impacts the way that person treats you or others?

Friendship

Let’s take a moment to discuss friendship.

Who is a good friend?

• Someone you respect; they show you respect, and they respect others
• Someone you can trust
• Someone who is loyal
• Someone who supports you
• Someone you have fun and with whom you share interests
• Other ideas??

Sometimes it is hard to make new friends.  How can you make or find new friends? 

Do you ever push people away because of what others say about them?

Are you ever afraid to stand up for someone else that others are talking disrespectfully about?

Do you feel others are treating you disrespectfully and no one stand up for you?

Bullying

Bullying is harmful behavior.  It can be physical (pushing, hitting, etc.), verbal (saying hurtful things), or relational (not allowing them to have a relationship with others or harming that relationship).  This is done by a person or a group that occurs again and again over time.  The bully(s) often targets someone who they feel has less power.

• Bullying is done consciously (they know what they are doing).  It is intended to harm someone, cause fear, and create terror.
• Bullying is not meant to be a onetime event.
• Bullying is done intentionally to intimidate and to gain power over someone.

A bully treats someone abusively and uses force or stern language or behavior.

Traits of a bully—

• Likes to have control and to manipulate (get them to do things) other people
• Likes to use people to get what they want
• Find it hard to see a situation from the other person’s point of view
• Are concerned only with their own wants and pleasures not that of others
• Tend to hurt other kids when parents or other adults are not around
• Use blame, criticism, and false allegations to cover up their own feelings of low self-esteem
• Refuse to accept responsibility for their actions
• Lack the ability to foresee the short-term, long-term, and possible unintended consequences to their behavior.
• Crave attention.
• Bullies manipulate
• Want to inflict pain and hurt on another
• Do not care about the feelings of others
• Cannot be trusted
• May demand respect but do they really want it???

**Are they really a friend??

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying can be through email, social media, text messaging, web pages, online gaming, etc.

Cyberbullying is accomplished by: exclusion, harassment, flaming (lead into a heated argument for public harassment), outing private information, phishing (tricking someone to share personal information), imping (impersonation).

There are laws and rules against cyberbullying that you must be aware of as a child and adult. There can be negative consequences for your actions.

Check out your school policies and rules.

Call the police if there are threats of physical harm to an individual, stalking or harassment, pornographic images, or extortion.

Be aware there may be crimes committed or lawsuits that come with very serious consequences.

Be aware that www=the worldwide web (the world can see); online information can stay out there forever; there is round the clock access; you are traceable (your path is recorded); you are not invisible.

Do not post personal material

Protect your passwords

Do not talk to strangers

If you are being bullied—do not retaliate

Save the evidence

Let’s think of a time when you have seen someone being bullied….

What happened?

When was it happening?

Where did this happen?

How did this person get away with it?

Who else saw this happen?

Why Do Kids Bully?

• Because kids see others doing it
• Because it’s what they do if you want to hang out in the crowd
• Because it makes them feel stronger, smarter, or better than the person they are bullying
• Because it’s one of the best ways to keep others from bullying them
• To gain attention
• To get what they want

The Victim

The one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of bullying conditions.  One that is oppressed (subject to harsh and strict obedience) or mistreatment.  One that is tricked or deceived.

The Bystander

One who is present but not taking part in the situation or event; a chance spectator

They may not start the bullying, they might join in, or they might just stand by and let it happen.

Consequences to bystanders:

• Fearful
• Guilt
• Anxiety
• Lower school success

How Can We Prevent Bullying Together?

Friendship

Respect

Empathy (the ability to understand and share the feeling of another)

What to do if being bullied?

• Always tell an adult and keep telling
• Stay in a group
• Try to make friends with other students
• Avoid situations where bullying can happen
• Act confident or re-build your confidence
• Do not blame yourself
• Do not resort to violence
• Try not to show anger or fear.  Students who bully like to see that they upset you
• Use humor, if this is an easy thing for you to do
• If being bullied online, don’t reply.  Be sure to tell a family member or another adult
• Join clubs or take part in activities where you’ll meet others

What NOT To Do If Bullied:

Don’t…

• Do not think it’s you fault—nobody deserves to be bullied
• Do not fight back or bully a person back
• Do not keep it to yourself and just hope the bullying will “go away”, or to try to ignore bullying hope that it will stop or hope they start to pick on someone else.
• Do not skip school or avoid clubs or sports because you are afraid—missing out on school or activities that you enjoy isn’t right.  You have a right to be there.
• Do not think you are a “tattle tale” if you tell an adult that you have been bullied.  Telling is the right thing to do.
• Do not hurt yourself.  If you become sad and depressed . Talk to an adult immediately and tell them how you are feeling.

How the Bystander Can Help:

• Refuse to join in
• Attempt to diffuse bullying situations
• Get an adult to help
• Speak up and/or offer support
• Encourage the bullied to talk with an adult (teacher, supervisor, staff, neighbor, family, DARE officer, or trusted adult)

WHO NEEDS TO HELP?

We must do this together!

Kids

Parents

Guardians

Grandparents

Educators

Neighbors

Family Members

Trusted Adults

Friends

Law Enforcement

Community Leaders

****Let’s join together to make this a safe and comfortable world for EVERYONE!