Dear Minnesota Children’s Safety Net:
During these trying times, I want to first and foremost say; Minnesota D.A.R.E. is a children’s organization. Our mission is to educate and advocate for the safety and well-being of ALL of our Minnesota children. We do this through a collaboration with law enforcement officers, parents, schools, and communities. We are NOT a government organization or a law enforcement agency. We are governed by a Minnesota Board of Directors made of members of our communities.
This blog is intended to help support parents, guardians, educators, families, and other role models. I know that the tips I provide will not fit all children. They are only designed to give you some possible ideas. I also know that every child’s experiences, especially right now, are very different. This is a very difficult time for our children and for parents/guardians/educators. Let’s do this…
“Together for our Children”
We need everyone to come together to keep our Minnesota children safe and healthy! Let’s make a safety net.
***This blog is for adults. The Kid’s Blog will be discussing important information for our children. You can check at: http://www.mndare.org/WordPress/kids/
Many of you have been isolating at home with your kids. Some have experienced Covid 19 in their families or are healthcare providers that are under heavy stress. Others are in neighborhoods that have law enforcement and the National Guard present. Here are just some things you may try to remember as we deal with our own fears and our children’s feelings about their experience.
- Help your child feel safe, often. This is a time for hugs (social distancing with those outside your home), warm smiles, positive reinforcement, patience, and lots of your time. If your situation gets to be too much; take a time out, go outside, walk, exercise, breathe, find an adult to talk to, and re-group.
- Do not expect children to have the ability and tools to handle adult issues. They do not understand the big picture; they still live in a small world. Do not use them as an adult confidant. This is a very scary time and definitely out of their control.
- Be a good role model. You are the most important role model in their life. Children hear and see everything. This is one of my favorite quotes:
“What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Children have a tendency to take things, personally. Example: If you are fighting with your spouse, they may think it is because they said or did something earlier. If you separate or divorce, they may think they are the reason. Do not tell them “you” make me mad. You are responsible for your own feelings, not them. Instead say “Mom’s getting mad and needs a break.” Their behavior may be a problem but if you tell them they are bad, they will own that label. With the label, the behavior will match.
- Remember children learn what they live. This is a very different time; look at things through their eyes. What are your reactions? What do they see or think they see? Remember, children (and others) mirror you. When you are angry and yell at someone, what do you think they are going to give you back? Children are learning how to react by watching how you handle things.
- Do not direct your fear and anger at your children or your family. Sometimes we all need a time out so we do not just react. Sometimes we have to say “I’m sorry. I was out of line.” Kids will learn that it is okay to make mistakes and when you do, you acknowledge them and make amends.
- Set up a protective network for your child…grandparents, extended family, neighbors, friends, etc. They need as many trusted adults as possible to be their role models. Sometimes you will not be there and who should they go to? Sometimes they are mad at you and who can they talk to? Maybe you need to back up to come and give you a break.
***This week’s Kid’s Blog is about, “What To Do In An Emergency.” Please discuss this with your children. In today’s world things may be different so you will need to rethink how to handle some of these situations. Friends, family, and neighbors may be needed more than ever.
Please stay safe and hug your children!
Kathi